Rob discusses a local’s perspective on a coffee in Dublin

The recent revelation which I have been privileged to be informed of by a member of Monaghan/Cavan’s Fine Gael branch struck me as alarming to say the least today.

 En-route to a bus stop five minutes by car from my door, I quietly listened to two men discuss national politics. One, a member of the local FG branch, explained that the other was being fooled by a British Citizen. This struck me as odd as the “Brit” I quote, and excuse the slur attached, to which was being referred was one James Martin Pacelli McGuinness, Martin to you and I. Unfortunately my liberal and college educated mind has apparently caused me to be mislead. Under the Good Friday Agreement I had been led to believe that the citizens of the North of this Island held the right to Citizenship of the Republic of Ireland, as well as that of the United Kingdom of Great Briton, even a joint citizenship, a very nice position if you were to ask any passive person. However, the good man in blue cleared this little misunderstanding up, Martin (let’s continue to be informal about it) is a foreigner, and never paid a cent of tax to this state in his life except “once when he had a coffee in a coffee shop in Dublin”. To this I say the Sinn Fein bastard, complaining about border economic problems yet dubiously having a coffee in a Dublin coffee shop. Forgive my language, but that’s not very fucking rebellious, least the man could do is have his skinny latté in a tea shop.

 Awash with information and hidden lore this man that could only be described as the lost scholar of this country offered to us more. “And Norris? How will that queer help us with foreign investment? The Children of the country wouldn’t be safe; all you’d have is people coming from Bangkok”. Beneath this apparently muddle statement, our scholar again was refreshing in his thoughts, Norris is actually as Norris himself has purported “a supporter of children’s rights”. So much so that the big fairy probably wants the brats entitled to a 9 to 5, minimum wage, low skilled job. Not to benefit them no. Just to lure them in, only to whip the carpet from under their feet, and outsource the only thing they know to similar shorter children in Bangkok. The queer sly bready bastard. Thank mercy for the blue light of Irish conservatism and its ignorance shining on me!

 Now to the Hobbit (that is my name for Mr Higgins, and I refute the ability of a FGer to read JRR, unless they are looking for systems of possible government). Mr Higgins is okay save his age might have him apparently.

 Gallagher well he’ll do no harm.

 How about the others? Well our scholar simply passed on his right to attack the candidates. Instead I was again gifted to hear more on how those “Brits” in Sinn Fein, treat their members. Holiday homes in Donegal, the savages. This conjured worry for our wee Martin’s health, so much so that you’d almost vote to save the man. Almost.

 However, I would rather not vote for the man owning to the fact I am pro-European integration, not just pro-EU money and I feel the line between the EU and European banks which have cause a bit of bother has found itself blurred, and SF’s popularity is rising from the misrepresentation of the EU as a bully. Now in Sinn Fein’s defence people like José Barosso (, with his little outburst after a bit of a grilling by Deputy Joe Higgins over bad European bank lending practices, probably don’t help us distinguish the fact that the EU is on our side. If Ireland fails the European idea fails in a sense. If this happens the concept that unity can benefit owning to our ability to further our neighbours and benefit from competent economic partners on our door step goes out the window. So the big boys in Europe logically would rather we didn’t cock up.

 I suppose the point beneath the satire is this, maybe those right and even on the left ought to see this election as a serious debate and not a chat show about letters or terrorist pasts, because really they are irrelevant in the scheme of things (not to be-little the letters of Norris or violence in the North), we are at a turning point right now, and maybe these visions of what Ireland is going to be needs to be heard rather than the revelation of what colour of pen Senator Norris wrote his clemency letters with.

 Maybe, the self confessed centre right papers of the country, Fine Gael and all the other scare mongers who seem so obsessed with wee Martins past should grow up; much like Martin did and engage in a debate on where to take things, much like Martin did. Now I still have no intention of voting for Martin, but I do respect his work in more recent peace time. Maybe it’s time we look at the bigger more important picture. What do we want Ireland to look like tomorrow?

Rob Gilmour


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